I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you never un-have a 4some
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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