i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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