I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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