Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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