The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
