I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
where am i from again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
