Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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