Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  need another drink. this is the easiest way

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  (248): need another drink. this is the easiest way http://tfl.nu/e4gk
  Replies (1) Good night (1828) Bad night (847)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

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  (985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with. http://tfl.nu/8rek
  Replies (43) Good night (4820) Bad night (893)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.

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  (214): Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/702a
  Replies (47) Good night (7995) Bad night (700)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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  (314): i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out. http://tfl.nu/zite
  Replies (19) Good night (4677) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.

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  (508): I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up. http://tfl.nu/8n4w
  Replies (7) Good night (854) Bad night (4775)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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  (601): I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise. http://tfl.nu/o61x
  Replies (32) Good night (5509) Bad night (1031)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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  (832): He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex. http://tfl.nu/fne7
  Replies (11) Good night (2169) Bad night (898)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

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  (503): I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature. (503): Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true. http://tfl.nu/zw1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1401) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close

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  (618): I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close http://tfl.nu/i5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (1283) Bad night (484)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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  (847): The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one. http://tfl.nu/8fpw
  Replies (2) Good night (763) Bad night (372)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"

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  (775): I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!" http://tfl.nu/k6tw
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (269)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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  (505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (309)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am not dying my bush blue.

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  (203): You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though. (860): I am not dying my bush blue. http://tfl.nu/alon
  Replies (10) Good night (873) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.

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  (319): Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero. http://tfl.nu/gstb
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us

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  (815): WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?! (847): 1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us http://tfl.nu/rdej
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (310)

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