i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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