Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.

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(270): I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you. http://tfl.nu/x17f

Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (727)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?

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(603): So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me" (1-603): Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole? http://tfl.nu/54bk

Replies (6) Good night (2813) Bad night (971)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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(205): I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien http://tfl.nu/9idk

Replies (31) Good night (1009) Bad night (3709)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it

(973): View more from New Jersey

just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you

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(203): my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it (973): just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you http://tfl.nu/4uwz

Replies (60) Good night (2077) Bad night (5069)
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(514): View more from Quebec

theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero

(514): View more from Quebec

like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride

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(514): theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero (514): like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride http://tfl.nu/mbnj

Replies (3) Good night (2137) Bad night (1201)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.

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(203): Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina. http://tfl.nu/y3xd

Replies (20) Good night (7393) Bad night (859)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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(412): i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form http://tfl.nu/n72m

Replies (17) Good night (2110) Bad night (895)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%

(405): View more from Oklahoma

And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.

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(405): Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10% (405): And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar. http://tfl.nu/4y72

Replies (10) Good night (2297) Bad night (642)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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(501): I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes http://tfl.nu/3ixk

Replies (10) Good night (679) Bad night (1208)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm on the struggle bus

(847): View more from Illinois

just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers

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(847): I'm on the struggle bus (847): just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers http://tfl.nu/5dpp

Replies (4) Good night (1368) Bad night (480)
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(937): View more from Ohio

We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

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(937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1

Replies (12) Good night (1152) Bad night (927)
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(585): View more from New York

we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

(1-585): View more from New York

Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

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(585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv

Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (253)
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(407): View more from Florida

You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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(407): You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/k9ll

Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (192)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again

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(814): My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again http://tfl.nu/inh4

Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (271)
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(602): View more from Arizona

He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

(303): View more from Colorado

well did he get it

(602): View more from Arizona

....yes

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(602): He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change (303): well did he get it (602): ....yes http://tfl.nu/fuxg

Replies (0) Good night (675) Bad night (236)

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