I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES