Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gross. gingers suck

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  (313): Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you (248): Gross. gingers suck http://tfl.nu/yt8q
  Replies (18) Good night (1216) Bad night (1855)
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  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5194) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.

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  (419): i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover. http://tfl.nu/0t27
  Replies (26) Good night (978) Bad night (4775)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water

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  (814): Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water http://tfl.nu/ivkw
  Replies (14) Good night (5465) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (2521)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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  (513): I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food. http://tfl.nu/mdny
  Replies (4) Good night (2600) Bad night (824)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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  (813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan
  Replies (10) Good night (1042) Bad night (3354)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.

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  (443): Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now. http://tfl.nu/3e9p
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.

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  (907): On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks. http://tfl.nu/rprq
  Replies (4) Good night (2272) Bad night (519)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2026) Bad night (784)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it

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  (570): Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it http://tfl.nu/gvlt
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby

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  (623): I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby http://tfl.nu/cxps
  Replies (6) Good night (1006) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.

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  (215): Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit. http://tfl.nu/8h56
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.

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  (469): I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins. http://tfl.nu/edtw
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (488)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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  (808): In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it. http://tfl.nu/3ucc
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (346)

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