Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers

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(503): My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers http://tfl.nu/ouvx

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

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(724): Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant http://tfl.nu/8r36

Replies (3) Good night (3609) Bad night (848)
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(620): View more from Kansas

new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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(620): new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either http://tfl.nu/a5gg

Replies (3) Good night (2226) Bad night (922)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.

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(908): P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed. http://tfl.nu/fp9c

Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (536)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

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(479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt

Replies (1) Good night (1532) Bad night (532)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"

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(843): Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty" http://tfl.nu/jvva

Replies (1) Good night (1477) Bad night (476)
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(254): View more from Texas

GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT

(254): View more from Texas

^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.

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(254): GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT (254): ^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out. http://tfl.nu/79e1

Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (367)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet

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(616): I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet http://tfl.nu/hxg9

Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (376)
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(253): View more from Washington

Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life

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(253): Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life http://tfl.nu/x3qe

Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (407)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I need more social interactions that don't involve sex

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(781): I need more social interactions that don't involve sex http://tfl.nu/p006

Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (387)
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(716): View more from New York

Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at

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(716): Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at http://tfl.nu/gjoz

Replies (12) Good night (822) Bad night (401)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.

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(405): If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here. http://tfl.nu/2ha3

Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (656)
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(207): View more from Maine

I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.

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(207): I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee. http://tfl.nu/94ss

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (594)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.

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(570): I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far. http://tfl.nu/jtyr

Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (255)
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(801): View more from Utah

You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"

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(801): You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?" http://tfl.nu/733m

Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (246)

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