Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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(208): View more from Idaho

They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

Fav 10 2006 3781
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(703): View more from Virginia

I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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(250): View more from British Columbia

During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

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(903): View more from Texas

You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.

Fav 4 590 369
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(941): View more from Florida

Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.

Fav 1 21 53
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