We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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