Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
