This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
