Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
