he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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