Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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