that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
