hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
