apparently the secret to your success is patron
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
