I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
