Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
