the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
