Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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