I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
