someone get that fucking seahorse.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
