what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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