did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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