the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize