So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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