doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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