If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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