You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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