we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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