We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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