You really coming over, don't trick.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
