Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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