I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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