bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
soo... how was my night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
