North Korea, Best Korea!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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