It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
