Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
