Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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