awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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