In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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