She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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