Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
