DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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