Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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