There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
