Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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