i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
