I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
