Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
