you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
