Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
