ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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