Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
