Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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