Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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