we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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